Wacko Jacko rises for one more 'Thriller'

(GLENDALE, Calif.) -- In what was easily the most bizarre event in the 50-year history of Michael Jackson, the King of Pop's cold, stiff corpse sprang to life Tuesday night, leading a troupe of zombies through a stirring, 14-minute rendition of "Thriller."

Sometime near midnight, the classic pop single began to play from a 1987 boom box that fans have set to continuously loop the star's hits near his grave. Wacko Jacko's gold-plated coffin flew open, and he began to dazzle the small crowd of grave-shift graveyard workers and fiercely devoted fans who have remained on constant vigil for two months.

The mega star and a dozen or so backup zombie dancers began with a stiff march, heads rhythmically twitching, and mixed in irresistible moves like the "zombie hip slide" and the popular left-right "air claws."

Fans who had been waiting for such a miracle were slightly weirded out, but they were not disappointed.

"Michael's hair had fallen out in clumps and his skin was pastier than ever, but honestly he looked better than at any point after the HIStory album," said Angela Bordick. "All things considered, it was a remarkable performance."

Leading up to the show, witnesses reported a strange feeling as if something was lurking in the dark. The foulest stench filled the air, they said. The funk of 40,000 years and grizzly ghouls emerged from shadowy tombs.

"Under the moonlight, I saw a sight that almost stopped my heart," said Craig Supra, who spotted Jacko hobbling toward him. "I tried to scream, but terror took the sound before I could make it."

Supra froze as horror looked him right between the eyes.

"I was paralyzed," Supra said.

Other onlookers were similarly terrified until the song reached the familiar chorus that Americans living and dead know by heart.

"'Cause this is thriller, thriller night!"

"Until that hook kicked in, I probably looked as terrified as Michael's date in the video," onlooker Jimmy Mulholand said with a nervous laugh. "After that, I just gave in to the music. It was the most incredible thing I've ever seen, partly for the impeccable choreography but mostly because the performers were, uhh, dead."

Jackson's voice and his moves were easily as smooth as the day he passed. And though he had not lit up an earthly stage in four months, Jackson put on the show of an afterlifetime. The smooth-moving specter was dressed in the red pants and tattered red jacket he donned in the 1983 video.

During a particularly forceful crotch grab, a portion of Jackson's rotting nose fell off. But fans hardly noticed. JaKouri Jones said the undead King of Pop had not lost a step despite entering eternal sleep on June 25.

"It's hard to tell whether he looked better in life or after death," Jones said. "I knew Michael would always be great, but I was surprised the other stiffs were able to move like that."

Following a spectacular finale, during which pyrotechnics lit up the 500-acre cemetery and Jackson moonwalked the length of a 40-foot mausoleum, he signed autographs for fans. He then transformed back into a brainless ghoul and began feasting on their flesh. Authorities later subdued Jackson by setting his hair on fire.