Albuquerque Isotopes place Manny on waivers after slow start at the plate

(Albuquerque, N.M.) -- Albuquerque skipper Tim Wallach doesn’t mind Manny being Manny. Just so long as he’s not wearing an Isotope uniform.

After an 0-for-4 night at the plate – his first time facing live pitching in nearly two months – Manny was handed his walking papers. Wallach placed the L.A. Dodgers slugger on waivers after only one rehab assignment with the team.

Ramirez, serving a 50 game suspension for violating MLB’s substance abuse policy, was expected to re-acclimate his batting eye for several games with the Isotopes before rejoining the Dodgers July 3.

But Wallach said his squad would not be used as a training ground.

“I’ve got too many guys bustin’ their butts to make it to The Big Show,” said Wallach, who gained moderate fame as a serviceable third baseman with the Montreal Expos in the 80s. “Isotope Baseball is a winning tradition, so I’m not giving some unpredictable superstar a few extra Spring Training at-bats just because he’s hard not to like.”

Upon hearing Wallach’s move, Dodger President Frank McCourt had to receive the Heimlich Maneuver after choking on a Dodger Dog.

Wallach informed Ramirez he would no longer be on the team after the temperamental All-Star emerged from his post-game shower wearing an batting helmet covered in pine tar. Manny reportedly shrugged off the decision and urinated on Wallach’s office chair. He was later seen riding through the streets of Albuquerque in a Cutlass Supreme with Isotope mascot Orbit, a large fuzzy electron.

“We’re gonna grab some chicken tenders and catch the 9:40 ‘Hangover,’” Ramirez shouted to a group of young females. “Wanna come?”

It is the latest in a series of no-nonsense roster decisions Wallach has made to improve the Isotopes, shooting for their first Pacific Coast League playoff berth in a decade.

Two weeks ago Wallach dismissed Joseph “GoGo JoJo” Johnson for literally stealing second base. A few days later, Lenny “Slop Jar” Banks was demoted to AA Chattanooga after an embarrassing run-in with a hot dog concessionaire.